Tim Evans points to further evidence that some Lords live in Cloud Cockooland:
Lord Colwyn (Conservative)
My Lords, about one hour ago, I was very nearly knocked off my bicycle by a car turning left at the bottom of Wimpole Street—I was on the road and not on the footpath. As the driver was turning left, he was blowing his horn and was on his mobile. If I were to take his registration number and report it to the police, would anything happen?Lord Bassam of Brighton (Lords in Waiting, HM Household) [speaking for the Government]
My Lords, I would be extremely cross if nothing did happen, because it is exactly the sort of thing that the police should follow up.
And here is an episode from the real world:
On Thursday evening a Cycles Maximus tricycle was stolen from outside our shop, while we were still inside. The theft was reported to the Police. Two hours later, as I was closing down, I heard noises outside and three youths had returned with the large trike, checking if they could take some other stuff from other tricycles still outside. I rushed out, invited the one on the tricycle to get off, and called 999. These yobs were quite aggressive, one of them repeatedly put a hand in his bag, threatening to use a knife. After a bit of posturing though, they started running away; I gave chase giving a running commentary to the Police.
The thieves were not that smart: rather than splitting and meshing in the crowd in Oxford St, they tried to escape in dark side streets and alleyways. Keeping a safe distance, I managed to direct the Police to a pincer move and they were caught. While they were being frisked, I remembered that I had left the shop open. The Officers said that they would come and see me there. When they did, one of them started:
“We decided to apply the Common Sense Act of 2006″. I laughed because I knew what that meant, and it was not going to be funny.
“We told the three youths to beat it and if they were seen again in the neighbourhood, they would be nicked”
“But they stole a tricycle. Couldn’t they spend a night in a cell?”
“That would be against the Human Rights Act”
Faced with such ignorance, one gives up: what is the point of reporting anything to the Police? Once I retrieved the trike I had a choice: do nothing or call 999 and attempt to catch the criminals. The reality is that the end result is exactly the same, besides offering the thrill of the chase to the yobs and the cops.
I know what I will do next time: if there is enough of us, we will try and catch one of these yobs, put an Abus D-Lock around his neck, chain him against a pole and lose the key. Let him call the Police and complain about his human rights.
Image by Keith Greiman
The sad truth is though that the slimy scum sucker WILL, and there will be no “Common Sense Act” for you.
Glad to hear that you got your trike back, now if I can only find the little bugger whose got my Moulton …..
CHEERS JOSH
What a perfect thing to Put On The Fence ( http://whatshouldiputonthefence.com/ )! “Bicycle thieves found chained to these railings will be removed without further notice.” Actually, if there are enough of you, you were never there, you don’t know what he’s talking about, and you certainly don’t have time to be locking random youths to railings – you’ve got work to do, paperwork up to the clavicles, etc. It would be nice if you never had another such opportunity, but you probably will, and some sort of example needs to be made. Cheers.
Perhaps if we, on apprehension of one of said ‘miscreants’, were allowed by law to remove something of theirs (A kidney perhaps?) which we could then sell on, thereby recouping the cost of our losses..? No?
The way to do it:
Possibly a bit extreme, but is the thief going to do it again?